I’ve been renting here for almost 3 years now, and since I moved in, my neighbor across the street has been… a handful. I’m pretty sure he has schizophrenia or some severe mental illness, and he’s around 40, living with his mom. Almost daily, he’s outside yelling all sorts of profanities and racial slurs into the air, and he has this strange whistling routine he does.
The police have been called on him countless times, but nothing ever changes. A neighbor once called the cops on him, and after they left, he trashed her son’s basketball hoop and tossed the basketballs all over. Another neighbor, who has two young kids, moved out suddenly, and I suspect it’s because of this guy.
What’s making me nervous is that today he targeted my mom and me directly, hurling insults and even making threats. Until now, we’ve kept our distance, but it seems he’s decided we’re his new focus. I’d rather not call the police because he’d probably figure out it was us, and who knows what he might do in retaliation.
He’s been staring at our house from his window all day. We’ve considered talking to his mom to see if she thinks he might be a real threat, but I worry it could set him off even more. I see him drinking and smoking a lot, too. We are armed, but it’s still unsettling to think he could snap. Has anyone been in a situation like this?
UPDATE: We went to the police station today to file a report. They’re very familiar with him and his behavior but said they couldn’t do anything, not even make a note of it. For now, I’m planning to ignore him, triple-check all the locks every night, and see how things go…
Start filing reports with the police every time he does something like trespass, intimidate you, or anything that could be considered unlawful. You’re not pressing charges yet—just making sure there’s an official record of his behavior.
The idea is to build a case so it’s clear he’s repeatedly being threatening. Once you have enough reports, you might be able to get a restraining order. That gives the police something solid to act on if he violates it.
It might be worth talking to a lawyer or even the police to get advice on how to build this case. Just calling the police won’t do much, but if you’re strategic, they’ll have something they can use.
@Eli
Thanks, that’s really good advice. I’m in IL, by the way. We’re actually planning to go down to the station today and ask about how to go about this.
Arie said: @Eli
Thanks, that’s really good advice. I’m in IL, by the way. We’re actually planning to go down to the station today and ask about how to go about this.
Some police departments actually allow you to file reports online for certain incidents. Might be worth looking into.
Arie said: @Eli
Thanks, that’s really good advice. I’m in IL, by the way. We’re actually planning to go down to the station today and ask about how to go about this.
Glad to hear it. Good luck with everything, hope it gets better soon.
Wyze has $20 Wi-Fi security cameras that you can set up inside on windows facing out. They’re pretty cheap and can record everything without needing a subscription.
Record all his actions. That way, if something serious happens, you have a clear timeline to show the court.
AveryMonroe said:
These situations are so tough. He hasn’t done enough to justify police action, but clearly, common sense says he’s a threat.
Keep a distance, and maybe his family can step in if they haven’t already.
Absolutely. It’s really frustrating that the law can’t step in until things get dangerous… we’ll probably talk to his mom when we get a chance, see if she can give us some peace of mind.
@Arie
She might need help herself. Sometimes mental illness can run in families. She could be scared or unsure how to deal with it. I’d keep her safety in mind too. Maybe a social worker could help.
Mackenzie said: @Arie
She might need help herself. Sometimes mental illness can run in families. She could be scared or unsure how to deal with it. I’d keep her safety in mind too. Maybe a social worker could help.
Very true. I don’t know her well, but she’s often with her boyfriend, so he’d probably report any serious issues. I hope she’s okay—she’s kind to care for her son, and he seems calmer when she’s home, but that’s not often.
@Arie
That sounds like the right approach. She might have some influence over him and maybe could encourage him to get help. If she’s the one to make that push, it could be more effective.
AveryMonroe said: @Arie
That sounds like the right approach. She might have some influence over him and maybe could encourage him to get help. If she’s the one to make that push, it could be more effective.
I’ll try to speak with her soon. I really don’t want to force him into any situation, but I’m hoping I can explain our concerns to her in a way that won’t offend or escalate things.
@Arie
In the US, a 72-hour mental health hold isn’t like jail. It’s an assessment, and if they’re safe to go home, they’re released, but if they’re a danger, they get further help. It could help him and prevent potential harm.
We used to have facilities to keep people like this safe and everyone else safe too, but they shut most of them down years ago. It might’ve been an overreaction or just poor planning.
Quinlan said:
We used to have facilities to keep people like this safe and everyone else safe too, but they shut most of them down years ago. It might’ve been an overreaction or just poor planning.
That’s a complex issue, and I feel bad for people in his situation. Nobody chooses this life, but there has to be a line. We all have freedom of speech, but safety comes first, and we need a system to protect everyone.
You could start by contacting Adult Protective Services (APS). They’re like Child Protective Services but for adults who can’t care for themselves. File a complaint and reference all the police visits.
Also, keep track of all incidents, whether they involve you directly or not. APS can force an investigation if there’s enough cause.
The mom might push back, saying you should “accommodate” his behavior. But you’re not required to do that as a private individual. If APS steps in, you might see results.
@Lior
I didn’t know about APS; I’ll check into that. Also, thanks for the air horn idea! I feel bad for him and don’t want to hurt him—just want to keep everyone safe.
Arie said: @Lior
I didn’t know about APS; I’ll check into that. Also, thanks for the air horn idea! I feel bad for him and don’t want to hurt him—just want to keep everyone safe.
His caretaker should be held accountable. Sometimes when APS gets involved, people either improve or leave. It’s worth a try.