My husband thinks I should start carrying a firearm, and honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about it. Here’s what happened:
I live in the Northeast in a rural area where Confederate flags still pop up, even though this state never allowed slavery. It’s unsettling, but I’ve always ignored it and kept to myself. Today, though, things got scary. I was driving home from errands with my 14-month-old when a truck full of people (three adults and three kids) started yelling obscenities and making gestures at me at an intersection. I didn’t engage, but I ended up driving behind them for 10 miles. The kids kept making rude gestures at me through the back window, and I managed to record the drive on my phone, just in case.
When they finally turned off, I broke down crying. I called my husband, and he’s now urging me to file a police report and consider carrying a firearm. He’s a hunter and a gun enthusiast, so we have plenty of firearms at home, but I’ve never carried one myself. I’ve gone shooting for sport and know how to use a gun, but carrying one for self-defense feels like a big step.
I’m worried about what could’ve happened if things escalated. My focus was on protecting my baby, but it was six of them against just me. If they’re hunters too, they probably had weapons. I feel trapped—like my only options are to barricade myself at home or carry a gun.
To anyone who’s been in a similar position: How do you handle self-defense? If you carry, how did you get comfortable with it? And are there other options besides firearms that make you feel safe?
Only carry a firearm if you’re fully comfortable and trained to use it. There are other tools like pepper spray, tasers, or self-defense classes. In a car, your best options are often your phone and the vehicle itself. Next time, call 911 immediately if you feel threatened—they can send help and track your location. It’s great you recorded the encounter, though. That was smart thinking.
@Devon
My husband suggested teaching me himself, but I want professional tactical training. We’re looking into courses at Sig Sauer, which isn’t too far. You’re right about calling 911—I was just so flustered in the moment. I’ll work on staying calmer if something like this ever happens again.
@Devon
Don’t beat yourself up. You got yourself and your baby home safely, which is what matters. Tactical training sounds like a great idea. Guns can escalate a situation, but with proper training, they’re a solid option. Sending hugs your way.
When I lived alone in a rural area, I kept a shotgun. It’s easier to use than a pistol and can scare off intruders with just the sound of cocking it. Now I carry pepper spray and a taser. The goal is always to create space and time to escape, not to escalate. If you go the firearm route, make sure you get lots of training. But honestly, pepper spray and a personal alarm can go a long way for self-defense.
@Onyx
We have shotguns at home, but they’re in a safe only my husband can access. I think it’s time I take more responsibility for our safety, especially since he travels a lot. I’ll also look into whether tasers are legal in my state.
I didn’t carry a gun until I had a scary experience where someone tried to approach my baby. It was enough to make me realize I needed to be ready to defend myself and my child. Now, I carry a firearm and have no regrets. If someone tries to hurt us, they’ll think twice. Just make sure you’re trained and confident if you decide to carry.
Training is key. If you’re serious about carrying, check out groups like the National African American Gun Association or Black Girls Shoot. They focus on safe firearm use and training for self-defense. Those people who harassed you were relying on intimidation. A firearm in trained hands can level the playing field. But it’s ultimately your decision, and no one else’s.
@Vic
Thanks for the suggestions! I’ll check out those groups. I feel more comfortable with long guns, but I’ll give pistols another try at the range. I just want to be prepared.
I carry a utility knife and have a service dog for close-quarters protection. My husband and I are both comfortable with firearms but understand they aren’t for everyone. If you decide to carry, make sure to get training to build confidence.
@Merlin
I grew up around guns, but more because of the gang activity in my area. I’m comfortable with long guns for sport but not pistols. I think I’ll start with a self-defense class and go from there.
My dad was USMC and taught me how to handle firearms safely from a young age. If you’re not ready to carry, at least consider going to the range to learn how guns work. It’s also important for kids to understand gun safety, even if you don’t carry. Self-defense training is invaluable—it’s not just about the weapon, it’s about being prepared for any situation.
A gun can make you less safe overall. Statistics show that having one in the home increases the risk of accidental shootings, domestic violence, and even suicide. There are safer self-defense tools like pepper spray, self-defense classes, and alarms. Moving to a different area might also help.
@Emory
We already have guns in the house, but they’re secured in biometric safes. I wouldn’t start carrying without professional training, and I’ll look into courses like Sig Sauer offers. Unfortunately, moving won’t solve the underlying issue of racism—I’ve faced it in every city I’ve lived in, urban or rural. This was just the first time with my child in the car, which made it hit harder.