I’m being transferred to a new state for military orders, but my wife is staying behind to finish her Master’s degree. She’ll be living on her own in the upstairs portion of a two-floor house for the next few years. We’ve been discussing what she should do if someone ever tries to break in, and we’ve hit a bit of a disagreement on the best approach.
Here’s the setup: The second floor has one entry point (a stairway) and three windows (one in each bedroom and one in the living room). These windows open to a slanted roof that’s about 8–10 feet off the ground. My wife’s plan is to lock herself in the bedroom, brace the door with a stopper rod, deploy an emergency fire escape ladder out the window, and climb down to safety.
I feel like this plan has issues—it takes too long, and the door stopper isn’t reliable, especially on carpet. I suggested locking the door, climbing out the window onto the roof, and lowering herself down to the ground. She says my plan increases the risk of injury, and it’s not practical.
We’d like some input. Are there better alternatives, or is there a way to improve one of these plans?
I wouldn’t recommend escaping onto the roof unless it’s an absolute last resort. Better to focus on fortifying the bedroom as a safe room. Have her crouch behind something sturdy, like the bed or a bookshelf, while calling 911 on speaker. If she’s armed, aim at the door and make it clear she’s prepared to defend herself. Announce loudly, “Get out or you will be shot.”
Remington said:
Do you own any firearms? If so, has your wife been trained to use them? This could make all the difference in her ability to protect herself.
Not everyone in the military is comfortable with firearms, despite the stereotype. A lot of people in support roles rarely even touch them. That said, if she’s open to it, now might be the time to get her familiar with one.
@Yan
Fair point. Even so, firearm ownership rates are usually higher among military families. If she’s not comfortable with guns, there are other tools like tasers or pepper spray to consider.
Remington said:
Do you own any firearms? If so, has your wife been trained to use them? This could make all the difference in her ability to protect herself.
I do own a pistol and brought it up when we first started talking about home defense. While I’m comfortable with it (I consistently score well on my pistol tests), my wife isn’t confident handling firearms. She’s not opposed to learning but hasn’t had much practice.
@Kai
If she’s willing, I’d recommend getting her a rifle—maybe an AR or something similar. With a red dot sight, even a beginner can become proficient at self-defense distances.
Honestly, the best solution is getting her a gun and making sure she knows how to use it. Neither of your escape plans is practical in a real emergency. Better to be prepared to defend herself if it comes down to it.
Install a Flip Lock or similar device on the bedroom door—it’s great for preventing kick-ins.
Security cameras that alert her to movement are a must. They’ll buy her time to call 911.
Mace gel is a solid non-lethal option. It’s less likely to blow back in her face compared to spray.
Use wood dowels in the window tracks to prevent them from being opened easily.
Consider timers for lights, a TV, or a radio to make it look like someone’s home.
The ladder isn’t a bad idea for fires, but in a break-in, it’s too slow. The better bet is reinforcing the doors and windows and making it clear the house isn’t an easy target.
As someone who’s lived alone for years, this level of concern seems excessive. Good locks, a sturdy door, and maybe a camera should be more than enough. Awareness of her surroundings is key, but it doesn’t need to be overcomplicated.
The ladder idea is fine for a fire escape, but it’s not practical for a break-in. She won’t have time to deploy it. I’d recommend starting with a solid, reinforced door for her bedroom. It’s a good first line of defense.
If you can drill into the floor, I’d recommend installing a Nightlock Barricade. It’s a simple device that can prevent forced entry through a door.
The escape ladder is worth testing out. If she’s comfortable using it, great, but it’s good to have backup plans. Cameras and motion sensors could also give her an early warning and buy her more time.
Those door stopper bars aren’t reliable unless they’re braced against something solid. For escape, a knotted rope or a proper fire ladder works better than just dropping off the roof. But honestly, you should focus on deterrence and alarms. A loud, flashing alarm system will scare off most intruders before they even get inside.
Also, why no mention of weapons? Even non-lethal options like a taser or mace would give her a fighting chance if it came down to it.
Have you looked into extending your orders so you don’t have to move yet? Depending on your branch and situation, this might be worth exploring if it makes both of you feel safer.
Who’s going to be living on the first floor? That could make a difference in terms of overall safety. Also, check out the Doorricade system for reinforcing doors—it’s highly effective.